super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
