Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
