She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
