Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
