I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
