you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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