We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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