I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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