I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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