oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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