My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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