Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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