CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
