Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
