awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
