What a fucking waste of an outfit
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
