she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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