dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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