Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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