what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
