I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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