what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
They should really pass out barf bags in church
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
