I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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