i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
