Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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