Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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