I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
