i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
