My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
