you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
