Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
