My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Come on in and take your pants off
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