I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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