So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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