If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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