Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
