Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
