i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
