I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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