just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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