help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
