420 ftw
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
