I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
