i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
