The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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