That's intense
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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