i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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