i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
