I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's just like the Real World with babies
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
