shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
