please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
