Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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