Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
