So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
