At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
