It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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