two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
