Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
