Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
