fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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