I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
