Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
