I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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