I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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