After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize